Evening Personalities Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's top entertainers spent their evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just announced immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Spin

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical Christmas song about the president. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial initiative that enables foreign citizens to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, or "premium" tier for 5 million. A government page pledges approval "faster than ever."

"One note for you to rich immigrants: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the card is also intended to "squeeze cash" from firms wanting to hire foreign workers, with hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The best screening the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow rich international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval numbers during financial concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, where he reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.